My Journey to Becoming a Mom at 49

November is National Adoption Month

As a little girl, I was never one to dream of getting married young and having children. My childhood was filled with days riding horses, lounging by the pool, and having fun with friends. Marriage was something I barely considered until my mid-twenties when I almost got married but changed my mind once I met his family.

I was among the last of my friends to marry, finally saying "I do" at the age of 36. It wasn’t until my late thirties that the idea of having children even entered my mind.

Late to Love and Motherhood

By the time I turned 40, life threw an unexpected curveball. A routine check-up revealed that I have a condition known as a bicornuate uterus—a heart-shaped uterus rather than the typical round one. This shape meant a higher risk during pregnancy, as my uterus wouldn’t be able to expand easily. As I dug deeper, I learned that my condition was likely linked to a drug called DES, which my mother had taken in the 1960s to prevent miscarriage after losing a pregnancy. DES, widely prescribed between 1940 - 1971, left countless women like me facing challenges they never anticipated.

With this discovery came the sobering reality: conceiving and carrying a baby at my age was not only difficult but also risky. After long discussions with my husband and advice from my doctor, who was also a dear friend, we made the decision to step away from trying for a biological child.

Finding Hope in Adoption

I’ve always been drawn to reading obituaries, finding comfort in learning about the legacies people leave behind. Yet, it would tug at my heart when I read about someone who never had children.

This feeling sparked a conversation between my husband and me about adoption. My brother’s experience with adopting his two children inspired us, so I reached out to his lawyer, and our adoption journey began. What followed were eight long years filled with hope, setbacks, and moments that tested us in every way possible. My case wasn’t unique. It’s a long and drawn-out process that is often filled with heartache before you finally achieve your dream of a family.

The Call That Changed Everything

I will never forget the call I received in early October 2003. A 20-year-old expectant mother in California, who felt she couldn’t provide the life she wanted for her child, had chosen us as potential adoptive parents. The joy and anxiety were overwhelming! We flew to California to meet her about a month before her due date, and after spending time together, she confirmed that we were the parents she wanted for her baby.

On October 30, 2003, our son was born. I’ll never forget the nervous anticipation as we flew to meet him. It felt as if I were getting ready to jump off a cliff! But the moment I held him for the first time, every fear melted away. I knew, without a doubt, that this was exactly where I was meant to be. At 49, I became a mother. While some voiced concerns about adopting a child so late in life, I paid no mind to their doubts—and I’m forever grateful I didn’t.

Now, 21 years later, our son has grown into a compassionate, talented, and intelligent young man. Those years have been the most fulfilling of my life, and I am endlessly thankful for the journey that brought him to us. Adoption, when done thoughtfully and with care, can be a beautiful gift.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that no one is ever too old to pursue the dreams that fill their heart!

Have a Happy National Adoption Month!

-Gail Gould, Your CPR and Safety Lady